Running Mate

Running mates are a huge reflection on you.  Choose the right one and you are home free.  Choose a bad one and there will be criticism.   Running mates also let people see what good taste you have or what very bad taste you have.  So choosing your lifetime mate is a huge task.   No this is not about politics or finding someone to go jogging with you (unless that is your thing) but it is about finding the ultimate mate in life.  It is about how to find the one whose soul you will connect with for the rest of your life.  Finding that one who gets you and the one who will commit to you for the rest of your life.

When I was a junior in college I yearned for a steady boyfriend.  One who was there to take me out every Saturday night.  One who would show the world that I was worthy of having someone by my side.  One who understood me and cared for me.  But the truth was that there was no one like that in my life.  I ached to have someone there but the loneliness grew.

One day as I sat in my place of worship I heard my pastor share his formula for finding a mate.  My ears perked up as I listened intently.  He said that we should run the race set before us (from Hebrews 12:1; “…and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us”) and as we are running we should look to  see who is running beside us.  Whoever is there is a good candidate.

Go about the work set before us and doing what is in our hearts, be it volunteer work or helping out at our local houses of worship.  Just follow your desire to serve and your passion.  There is where you will find your mate.   Seeing someone in an environment where he or she is working for something other than themselves is a great way to see their true character.

I want to give you a huge piece of advice and that is that you need to free yourself from the stress of finding a mate.

Two benefits:

A.  It will help you run the race without emotional distractions

B.  Living a life filled with joy and purpose is very attractive

Rest on the fact that you are on the right path and that God’s purpose will be fulfilled even without all of your help.  Set your sights on God and all else will fall into place.

I wish I had more time  to elaborate on living the life that is set before you and about what to look for in a mate but I will  have to save that for a future post.

Some of you are in your late 20’s, some of you are in your late 30’s and thinking that it is over and that this is your destiny.  I would love to cry out and say “of course your destiny is not to be single for the rest of your life”, but I cannot say that, only God knows.  But I do want to tell you to trust in something greater than yourself and believe that He is looking out for your best interest.  No matter what, trusting in God will bring you peace about being single at this time.  If God has laid on your heart to be married then you wait.  You wait, and while you are waiting you run the race that is set before you.

Other resources that I recommend:

Elizabeth Elliott’s book  about love and waiting (college age)

Passion and Purity

Ann Kiemel Anderson’s book about being single (post college)

I gave God time

Karen Andreola’s book on moral virtues (teens)

Beautiful Girlhood 


Also read a previous post here about living a wise life.


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