I get really disappointed when I realize that I failed in doing something “right”. Thoughts jump into my head like “I wish I had XYZ-ed but now it is too late” or “Why didn’t I do that?” If you are like me, you ponder and beat yourself up on what you should not have done especially if there are bad consequences attached to the decision.
This is why I am focusing on FRESH STARTS and NEW BEGINNINGS. And because there are so few moments in a day to spend them fretting about the past. The past serves us as a teaching tool. I am learning how to look at the past like I read a history book. “oh wow, that was not a good choice” and then I move on to the next page where there was a better choice made that resulted in a success. Then I see that as an overview history of my life, and I usually see how it was not so bad and mostly good.
Getting to your Fresh Start
1. When you realize that you have made a bad choice, accept it, own it and then tell yourself that the next time you will make a better choice. Release this experience into the history books and look to the future (next page).
2. Throw those beating yourself up thoughts in the trash. These are never productive thoughts. Dwelling on bad decisions is destructive and sometimes paralyzing. It keeps you from taking that next step towards success. If I am still having lingering unproductive thoughts that are haunting me I envision myself wadding them up and putting them in the trash can. Yes, I play pretend, but hey, whatever works.
3. Gain an understanding that mistakes are all part of learning and a step in the ladder of success. Even though what you did set you back or cost you much, think of it as a new vantage point. A vantage point from where you can see a clearer view. Your big mess up can also serve as the “aha moment ” when you discover something of value for your life.
Fresh Start tips:
1. Find a sunny or bright spot and plan your next better choice.
2. Play your favorite song and dwell on happier times.
3. Jot down an encouraging note to yourself.
If you are having trouble with number 3 of Fresh Start tips, pretend that you are writing an encouraging note to a friend who is having the same issue. Funny how we have wonderful words for others but when it comes to giving ourselves a pep talk we have a hard time.
I encourage you to accept that we all make errors and that more than likely you will have tomorrow to start anew.